Trusting your gut instinct

May 1st, 2016

Recently I had a conversation with some friends of mine about instincts: "How do you know if you should follow your heart or follow your gut instinct. Is it women's intuition that we need to follow? What is that nagging inside of us that tries to tell us what we already know, but sometimes refuse to listen to?" Of course the conversation made me look at my own life. Here is what I've come up with.

 

Is it following your heart? Following your gut instinct? Are they the same? I've come to believe that they're not the same. That following your heart and following your gut instinct are two completely different things. The reason I say this is because I've experienced the pull between the two first hand.

Ten years ago, I walked away from a relationship I was in. My heart was screaming and crying and having a fit, but my gut told me to walk away. Something inside of me knew it wasn't the right fit for me. In my mind I could list all of the reasons it wasn't right. We weren't compatible. We didn't have the same goals or dreams. The things that are important to me, weren't important to him. Even when he said all of the right things, my heart fluttered, but my gut wouldn't believe it. It turns out that my gut was right because only two days after he was still trying to convince me (via phone/text/emails) to work things out with him, he worked things out with someone else.

It's a struggle when you have conflicting points of view within your own self. How do you know which one to listen to? For me, it was reminding myself of all the red flags that had caused my gut to feel the way it did. Did I doubt myself? Of course I did. Was it hard? Yes! Did I make the right decision for me? Absolutely! However, it sucked, it hurt, it broke my heart, did I say it sucked? It did. But, I survived. And in the end, my story was the right one for me. I am with the right man, the one I needed to wait for, the one who isn't perfect, but is perfect for me. And when I found him my heart and my gut agreed!

We must remember that lessons come in different forms. A lesson can come to you in the form of your relationships, your other family members, your children, your friends, your job.

I believe that trusting your gut instinct, also translates to "don't settle." Sometimes we settle when we know something isn't right, but we don't want to rock the boat or we're afraid of change. Maybe we don't want to change our lifestyle or maybe we're afraid of hurting someone's feelings. No matter what the reason, it's still settling.

Don't settle for friends who put you in an uncomfortable position, just because you've known them for a long time. If your child brings home a new friend and you get that negative vibe right off the bat, don't ignore it. Don't settle for a job that's wrong for you, just because you're comfortable there. When you realize that the only limitations are ones you've set for yourself, you'll realize you can stop settling. You can also learn to trust your gut!

A year ago I saved this quote....

For me that meant staying at a place that was so filled with toxic people I was getting physically sick. A year later, I'm no longer in prison. I'm working at a place I love, with people who amaze and inspire me every day. The drama is gone, the toxin is gone, the tension is gone and I literally started feeling physically better, the day I walked out of that other door. Someone once told me "Attitude is the Difference." It certainly is! It's awesome to work with people who are as positive, honest, and as genuine as I am. 

What lessons are you facing in your life? Do you find yourself repeating the same lesson over and over? Remember, no one can learn the lesson for you, you have to figure it out. Realize that the only one holding you back from making a change is you. Your fears. Your doubts. Your worries. 

I challenge you now to believe in yourself. Trust your gut. Don't settle. 

And remember YOU are amazing!! 

**** This post is dedicated to those friends of mine who are settling for situations that they don't want to be in. Trust yourself. Be happy. xo


MW
Copyright 2016